Well, I just don’t know where to begin. I took a leap of faith and I told that boy I like him! I laid it out on the table and he took it. So things are great, or were? I don’t know. Just as things were getting great, he left to go fight fires, so um I’ll see him in like a month.. But I have to remind myself not to get sad or overwhelmed because I need to look at this like a little blessing. I’ve just been given a good amount of time to focus more on me and bettering myself. Whether that’s working out more and eating more healthy, (which I’m really trying to start to do), or even finding some time to connect with God again. I don’t know what this time for me will entail, but I know I have it, so I need to take advantage.
I’m still not talking to my roommate, and it’s slowly just eating away at me. I know that I am entitled to do what I want but every time I decide it’s time to talk, I find more information out about her lying to me or other random shit and it makes me mad all over again. Like why?! So at this point, I’m just mad, but I have decided that I am going to talk it out soon. And this won’t be a talk to mend a relationship, it will be a talk to help both of us move on, or at least for me it will.
My biggest concern is that a talk like this will cause a huge catastrophic fight, and I just can’t deal with any more of it. Also another reason why I just haven’t talked to her. But I guess, in order to learn and grow, uncomfortable situations occur.
So as I write this and get crazy in my head, I realize that this is an obstacle I have to face. I just have to. I have to do this in order to be wiser, stronger, and to become more mature. I guess the only person I can blame is myself for growing up faster than those around me. Will I regret it in the end? I don’t think so.
So to put a wrap on this. The boy situation is going to be okay, and if not, then that just means I have more growing to do. The fire will eventually be put out and he’ll come home and I’ll be here as a better and more confident me for him to hopefully fall in love with (me being a hopeless romantic). My friends? Well like they always say, they come and go, and so this friend might go, but once again, it’s a growing time for me. And fights, they’re gonna happen, and I need to accept that. I’ll keep you updated with how that talk goes…