Dear Mr. Firefighter,
I don’t know where we’re at or where we’re going to be but I have some things to share. The night you walked me home, I had no intentions of doing anything with you. I was drunk and scared and you respected that as you slowly strolled by my side at 1 am. I had many guys trying to take me home, but for some reason I wanted to walk home a lone and you happened to accompany me. The first thing you ever told me was “Rule number 1: don’t ever announce that you stole something until your out of the persons house you stole it from.” And when we got in front of my door and I was going to walk in, I noticed you paused and you didn’t know what to do, and I was too drunk to notice that you wanted to kiss me. So you respected my limit and hugged me good night and walked away.
An exact week later I found myself drunk on the dance floor of the only night club in this little town when I stumbled upon you not being able to see or stand straight. You took me by the hand, grabbed me, and little did I know that was going to be the beginning of this adventure. We danced all night, the whole night was in our hands and it was like time was at a stand still. I was so happy with you and everything going on. I took you home that night and we never hooked up. Once again, you respected my limit knowing that I was way too drunk to do anything sexual. I took you home the next morning without exchanging phone numbers or anything.
And so the story goes on and we started hooking up and talking more and I waited for you every 2-3 weeks when you were out on fires. I loved out late night texts about all the sexual things you were going to do to me. I loved when I was going through a hard time with my friends that you listened and gave me advice. I loved when you asked me out on our first date to go see a movie and I could tell that you were too nervous to make a move on me outside of the bedroom.
And when we went to the air show together and spent the whole entire day talking and looking at the airplanes, I was content with your presence. When it was finally time to go home and you looked at me and said, I’ll come over tonight wand we’ll cook dinner, my heart skipped a beat because finally, a guy was taking his time to get to know me and spend time with me. My birthday came and you had to go, but when you came out you took me to dinner. The nicest dinner a guy has ever taken me to and I just couldn’t believe how far we’d come.
But now I’m sitting here and although we’ve come far, I feel like we are so distant. Something happened along the way. Something changed, you started out wanting me and now you don’t so much, and it hurts. I feel like its over before it’s even started. I cry often now and only because of the “what if’s” but please Mr. Firefighter you have to understand. I know you don’t do relationships and it’s not your thing and it hasn’t been for over 5 years. But believe me when I say I have so much love that I can share with you. I have grown the past few months to feel for you a way I haven’t really felt for anybody. I think about you all the time. I think about what it could be like to be on a level with you where you can hold me tight and kiss me into the morning because you feel that way towards me. I think about how it would be if you felt the same way about me as I do for you.
I want you to take a chance on me. I promise I won’t let you down. I really do. I will stand by you, and help you, be your biggest fan, tell you when you’re wrong, tell you when you’re right, have you back when no one else does. I want to be that person. So even though it’s not your thing, I just want you to take a chance on me, I promise I will never let you down because all I want is to be with you…