Wow, to say the least, the past two days have been FUCKING CRAZY. So my friend. Friend? Yeah, I guess I’ll still call her my friend… Well she’s actually my roommate also, so you’re about to see how awful my situation is. Saturday night, she tells me she’s going to work, but she actually went and fucked this guy. Which is no big deal, that lie couldn’t hurt anyone… except the guy she fucked is her childhood best friend’s first everything. So, what? Am I supposed to support this and tell her its okay? Because it’s a really shitty thing and it breaks girl code in every way!
So, obviously this opens doors to more problems, and now its WWIII in my household. Why? Because although this decision she made doesn’t seem like the worst, its just annoying. She keeps complaining about how her life is falling apart because of sex and boys and like well HELLO!!! Your decisions are not stellar. But then it turned into more than just hooking up with boys. It turned into a “well you do this and that now.”
(Some background, I used to be a big smoker and I quit a little over a month ago, but she still smokes. Since I’ve quite smoking I’ve just been doing things to better me. Not to mention school is getting hard and my job is really taking me places. So there’s just bigger, more important things happening in my life right now that drugs are impairing me from.)
So now I’m not the person she wants me to be. But umm, that’s not up to her! I’m trying to help myself be more successful and healthier. And I’m sorry but NOBODY’S opinion matters in that case. And through out this monthly period, I put a halt on a lot of things. I stopped having sex for a few months, which kind of influenced my decision to stop smoking, and I also started working out more and just overall trying to become a better me. And now here I am, the bad guy… Not to mention I own the house that we are both living in, but just another catch 22, she lives in the living room, which is connected to the kitchen. So me, in my own house, has to hide in my own bedroom to avoid her. DO YOU KNOW HOW HUNGRY I AM RIGHT NOW?! Besides the point…we are just drifting apart. And yes it might be hard for her, but it’s good for me. We have different goals and ambitions, sorry?
But on another note, boys… LOL. Why do I event try… I invited the guy I’ve been hooking up with to come over yesterday and go rejected. Not for a bad reason, but rejection is still rejection! And then I ignored him so yeah, I’m just not winning at all in friendships nor relationships. Someone please poor me a cup of tea to calm me down because I am losing it!!! But like I’m trying to stay calm and collected. On the bright side work was great today! I got promoted today (again after 3 weeks of getting my first raise). So I have things to be thankful and grateful for. It’s always important to count your blessings, because you definitely do have some!
As for right now, I’m gonna chow down on some chips and guac (if I can get downstairs) and Netflix and Chill all on my own. Because that’s what confident, independent, successful woman do!